Insanity

Hello everyone, this is Elise. Daniel’s in Sylvia’s room, hugging her, and…crying. This was the first day I’ve seen him cry. I suppose I should explain what happened today.

It started with me straddling Daniel, as usual. It’s just something I feel I should do, because he likes it, and given the rough job he’s tasked with. Of course, once he woke up, he went to go see Sylvia. She was no better. His head was bowed when he came out, and it looked like he was crying. I hugged him, but he pushed me away and stalked away. I followed, worried as to what he would do.

Seeing a destroyed Doll in the hallway confirmed my fears; he was going on a killing spree. I went to speak with his Mistress about it. She wasn’t there, which made things worse.

I knew it. I went out to the front of the Tower, and there was Miss Harlequin standing on the ground about 10 feet from Daniel, who had picked up an Assault Rifle somewhere.

“Daniel, I know you’re angry, but you don’t need to attack me!” Miss Harlequin yelled.

“Then do something about it!” Daniel yelled. “You’re an eldritch being, omnipotent as they come, so fucking heal her or something!”

“I may be omnipotent, but there are things even I can’t do!” Miss Harlequin growled back. Daniel loaded the Assault Rifle. “I said NO, you little shit!” Miss Harlequin yelled, wrapping Daniel’s hands with strings and hoisting him about 20 feet in the air. “Now will you calm the fuck down?” She sighed.

Daniel nodded and was let down. But Miss Harlequin took the Assault Rifle and smashed it, and took his knife and gave it to me. She told me to give it back when he was fit to have it again.

He was a depressed wreck after that. He went back to bed and slept for another few hours. I didn’t leave his side. I knew he needed someone in times like this.

When he awoke, he went and spent about an hour with Sylvia, mostly hugging her and wishing she’d come back to sanity. She sang all kinds of things, country, rock, rap, pop, it didn’t matter. She just sang and sang, with her sweet, almost saccharine voice.

Afterwards, he just came out and moped around for a while. He took several walks through the Empty City, went and visited the core, and watched some Nightlanders play football. Yes, they do that on occasion. I think they were playing shirts versus skins…not that it matters.

Either way, he came back to the Tower, moped some more. I offered to drive him to the Valley of Song, but he declined, so we got Ice Cream instead. I got Mint Chocolate Chip and he got a Strawberry Milkshake. He loves those. He just sat there, drinking his milkshake, without saying anything. In fact, the only thing he really said was ‘thanks’ when I gave him the Shake. It was awful to see him in this state. I mean, he’s not always the nicest or the most cheerful, but he’s usually up for a conversation or something.

He was silent for the whole trip back. Out of the blue, when we were getting out of the car, I did it. I kissed him. I don’t know if it was to cheer him up, or because I was feeling bad for him, or because of something deeper, but, all I know was that I opened up the tear dams, because he kissed back, even though there were tears streaming down his face.

Afterward he began working on my shirt, trying frantically to unbutton without working on it. I slapped his hand away and told him I wasn’t ready for that yet. I know I’m Nineteen, but….I’m just not ready. Especially not with a 15-year old boy. I mean, there’s no age of consent in the Empty City, but still…

He went back to being all emo after that. I don’t think it was because of me, though. I think he wanted to use sex as both a figurative and literal release. I know I didn’t help by not letting him, but I honestly think that at this moment, it’s easier to not get into any sort of relationship going that far. We’re partners. For now, at least.

Either way, after that, he went back to bed, but didn’t sleep. He just stared at the ceiling fan. I could tell he wanted to be alone, so I abided his wishes and left him be.

In the meantime, I found the nearest shadow on the wall and told him all about what had been happening recently, and he complemented me on good work. That gave me a bit of happiness. Afterwards, I went to check in on him. He was asleep, with notebook in hand. I took the notebook from him so he didn’t roll over the spiral binding or something in his sleep, and I read his most recent entry. It was………strange.

I don’t even know what I’m still doing alive. I shouldn’t be. I should’ve died on the sidewalk in February. But I didn’t. If I had, Elise would just be a normal Grayskin, and I wouldn’t have dragged her into this emotional mess. And Sylvia wouldn’t be like this. Granted, she’d be a mindless puppet, but embracetheconvocationletmeinidontwanttogocometomechildrenandfollowmywayintoaworldofdarknessandmagicitoldyouboutthewalrusandmemanlookingthroughtheskywithdiamondsnothingtogethungaboutnumber9sarealnowheremansittinginhisnowherelandmakingallhisnowhereplansforeleanorrigbypicksupthericeinachurchwheremybabyseenyoudrivingontheoneafter909.

It seemed to be a cross between many Beatles songs and Fear Slogans. For those of you who can’t read spaceless paragraphs, I’ll translate:

“Embrace The Convocation”

“Let me in, I don’t want to go.”

“Come to me Children, and follow my way, into a world of darkness and magic.”

“I told you ‘bout the Walrus and me, man, looking through the sky with diamonds. Nothing to get hung about, number nine’s a real nowhere man, sitting in his nowhere land, making all his nowhere plans for Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice in a church where my baby seen you driving on the one after 909.”

That last one…..kinda disturbs me. Anyways, he woke up and got mad at me, so I left him alone until dinner. I had to bring it up to him. He didn’t eat. Either way, he suddenly got up about half an hour ago and went into Sylvia’s room, and hugged her. And cried. A lot.

Oh, here he comes now. I’ll be putting the laptop away now. Sleep well everyone, either me or Daniel’ll update tomorrow.

~Elise out.